Tag Archives: Musings

My musings

Standard

I have been married for over an year now. S and I lived in another town for a while and are now back to Apna Hyderabad. We currently live with S’s parents. Don’t know where the future will take us. Ok, now why am I giving these mindless details ? That means since the past one year + , I do not live with my parents.But till date when I think,talk about “my house” its always my parents house…And am sure it will always remain to be…..Does this happen  with most of  the married women ?

It has nothing to do with where and whom I live with now…..I love my new family….and I now have 2 homes. Feels great.But when I think/talk about ‘my house ‘ its always my parents place. Thats the one which strikes instinctively. It isn’t even an issue in the first place then why do I sometimes ruminate at length about it ?

Willy-nilly contemplations

Standard

Forever there are countless thoughts and experiences I’d want to write about…million notions, opinions, perceptions traverse my mind every single day and most dont even live long enough…they  die a natural death……
I ache to communicate and share my multitudinous ruminations with you all, but these myriad musings internally vie one another and ultimately not even one of them sees the light of the day….and all this leaves me plain guilty….very reprehensible…
I strive to keep pace..but a great many times it just doesn’t work out…..
It weighs me down and does no good for my well-being…
Even now while am scribbling this, innumerable reflections are crossing over…..
I continually ponder….Is this typical me? or Does it come pass every person ? Is it a commonly observed phenomenon?
Would I ever know ? Sigh…

Moving on, offlate I have grown extremely fond of this song…its from the movie “Life in a Metro”..highly soothing…maudinly romantic …and notably serene.

Here are its lyrics ….I’d try putting up a link in the weekend…

(in dino, dil mera, mujhse hai keh raha
tu khaab saja, tu ji le jara
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat – 2) – 2

(berang si hai badi zindagi kuchh rang to bharoon
main apani tanahaayi ke waaste abbb kuchh toh karoon) – 2
jab mile thodi fursat – 2, mujhse karle muhabbat
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat

(usako chhupaakar main sabse kabhi le chaloon kahin door…
aankhon ke pyaalon kse pita rahoon usake chehre ka noor) – 2
iss jamaane se chhupakar – 2, puri karloon main hasrat
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat – 2
in dino, dil mera, mujhse hai keh raha
tu khaab saja, tu ji le jara
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat – 2

Its Words and Words are all I have (had)………….

Standard

Am at a loss of words…No, its isn’t that something great happening type of feeling…am at a complete loss of words while am writing…this was never an issue with me… I always felt I had a way with them since they always poured in quite generously whenever I scribbled…in fact when I wrote, I’d never had to look up for them …..but since recent times am deprived of them…I mean I consciously know, that the feelings I want to express have pre-coined terms in the English vocabulary and I have also known them along…but suddenly it dwindled.. ….its this weird feeling of knowing the word yet strangely not able to recollect. It is as if what I want is just lying there and am not smart enough to find it out…I agree its normal but its happening to me at an alarming frequency…how irritating and scary that could be. I am an underprivileged word child…wawawawa… Damn it.
This really upsets and fizzes me out. Am quite miffed why this is happening….
And really hope it’s a passing phase….and when I reason it out…I figured that am far too pre-occupied many a times (Off late) and yet very clueless the next minute….wonder what’s happening to me…..am I ageing?…….but am not that old for this yet…
Since we are already talking ‘Writing’, sometimes I really ponder why I blog… (Gosh, am going insane) I know am quite a non-existent entity for the blogging world since I have practically no audience.
Except for S …now he’s a real sweetheart …so whatever I’d pursue he will shower his unrelented support always and at all times…. I am really blessed…:) He reads all the crap I ramble and graciously and liberally appreciates each and every post with positive and generous comments. So very gentlemanly.
In fact I write so that I get praised by him…now what more does a woman want…
But my registrations here aren’t about the audience……they are about my writings…
I have been reflecting upon it since a while….and the analysis is…
I write since I love the feeling I get after I finish writing something. Yeah, you heard it right…crazy me. I begin since I love the end.
It’s a way out for me…it’s a stress buster and releases endorphins…though it isn’t yet scientifically proved (Chuckle)…it does that to me…it gives me a kick like nothing else…and makes me instantly relieved and happy…this is also happening right now while am drafting this piece.. I began this post rather morosely and now am feeling extremely joyful at the end….all this transformation in a few minutes….its my narcotic, it’s therapeutic.
And my soul feels clean now… am on a high…wish me more writing….