Tag Archives: Moods

Its Words and Words are all I have (had)………….

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Am at a loss of words…No, its isn’t that something great happening type of feeling…am at a complete loss of words while am writing…this was never an issue with me… I always felt I had a way with them since they always poured in quite generously whenever I scribbled…in fact when I wrote, I’d never had to look up for them …..but since recent times am deprived of them…I mean I consciously know, that the feelings I want to express have pre-coined terms in the English vocabulary and I have also known them along…but suddenly it dwindled.. ….its this weird feeling of knowing the word yet strangely not able to recollect. It is as if what I want is just lying there and am not smart enough to find it out…I agree its normal but its happening to me at an alarming frequency…how irritating and scary that could be. I am an underprivileged word child…wawawawa… Damn it.
This really upsets and fizzes me out. Am quite miffed why this is happening….
And really hope it’s a passing phase….and when I reason it out…I figured that am far too pre-occupied many a times (Off late) and yet very clueless the next minute….wonder what’s happening to me…..am I ageing?…….but am not that old for this yet…
Since we are already talking ‘Writing’, sometimes I really ponder why I blog… (Gosh, am going insane) I know am quite a non-existent entity for the blogging world since I have practically no audience.
Except for S …now he’s a real sweetheart …so whatever I’d pursue he will shower his unrelented support always and at all times…. I am really blessed…:) He reads all the crap I ramble and graciously and liberally appreciates each and every post with positive and generous comments. So very gentlemanly.
In fact I write so that I get praised by him…now what more does a woman want…
But my registrations here aren’t about the audience……they are about my writings…
I have been reflecting upon it since a while….and the analysis is…
I write since I love the feeling I get after I finish writing something. Yeah, you heard it right…crazy me. I begin since I love the end.
It’s a way out for me…it’s a stress buster and releases endorphins…though it isn’t yet scientifically proved (Chuckle)…it does that to me…it gives me a kick like nothing else…and makes me instantly relieved and happy…this is also happening right now while am drafting this piece.. I began this post rather morosely and now am feeling extremely joyful at the end….all this transformation in a few minutes….its my narcotic, it’s therapeutic.
And my soul feels clean now… am on a high…wish me more writing….