Tag Archives: irritated

Are you man enough…

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Disclaimer: I am neither a bra burning feminist nor a male ilk hater. But I strongly believe in equality and can’t stand gender biasing. And have an extremely soft corner for sensitive men who respect women. S will vouch for this but he thinks am a die hard feminist…well…talk of perspectives...

When you write a blog what happens is everything one hears or overhears(unintentionally) is carefully speculated if it could be possible blogging material..Trust me it just becomes second nature….I don’t do it consciously…

Once such mega blogging incident happened at lunch today. There is this young boy K who is also a part of the team I work for…..over general off-the-cuff gabs today the discussion steered towards K’s opinions on his prospective wife (in short, what he wants from the girl he marries?)……and then what followed blew me out and jolted my belief system…not me but also all the women folk sitting there who were subjected to this trauma…..

I usually carry lunch, which is quite basic everyday food…..andthen the dialogue followed..

K : Oh only one curry, when I get married I will want to have 3 curries,one dal,rasam,dessert, pickle,papads,salad for lunch daily…..

me: Oh you cook?

k: No, my future wife would cook these?

me: So you are seeing somebody who is a great cook too?

k : no, these are the conditions I have for my would be wife….

me : (conditions, godammit… what the hell do you think of yourself? ) well, I said this in the most diplomatic way I could possibly do it…

k : Its so easy to cook, I will buy 4 burner stove and she can cook 3 curries in half hour…its easy

me : Whatever be the number of burners, she will just have 2 hands. How can you say it will take half hour when you can’t cook? First try to cook for yourself….and what if the girl doesn’t like cooking?

k : She has to cook…what is there to like in it?I will do tougher and more meaningful things like paying bills, going to bank etc….

me & A (another colleague of mine) : (we are by now terribly frustrated),huh there is no point talking to him…

And then K went on….His first priority is a beautiful sari clad long haired girl…which is the basic necessity. and then she should never wear salwar kameez…she should be this superwoman who should cook 3 elaborate meals a day, work, and maintain a spic and span house since K is a stickler for neatness…he says he can’t compromise on this….by now me and A (two married woman in the discussion) didn’t know how to react…

That he would be soon preparing a questionnaire of his expectations and give a copy of it to every girl he visits to judge whether she is his wifey material or not ( Pellichupulu in telugu)…..

In sheer helpessness, utter incredulity, extreme choler followed by a state of utmost provocation A and I started laughing….yeah you heard it right….I just didn’t know what to say when I heard all this from him….though what A and I really wanted to do right at that moment is to give him a large piece of our minds, bash him up (I am a diehard advocate of peace, but this was too much for me to take) and tell him that he is vain and no girl would ever want to be associated with someone like him…etc…

And then along with us sat poor M (unmarried girl in the discussion)…..who was totally bewildered and by then shit scared…she kept on saying in the afternoon…..what if I get married to somebody like him? We cajoled her and calmed her down….

We marry for companionship….we marry to wake up everyday with the person whom we deeply love and wish to spend our lives together forever…which stems from love, respect and trust…

We do not marry for great food, cleaner house, beautiful spouse….will this guy ever understand….all he wants is a maid,cook,and >#@#@# (ok, censored)…..WTF…..

Finally with utter desperation when I couldn’t take it no further I blurted out saying, “Dear K, do not marry ever, this way you would do a big big favor on the womenfolk”…..

I may be rude ….so let it be it…I have no regrets in this case whatsoever…..

But that specific question is still ringing in my ears…..WHAT IF? Yes, WHAT IF?

And then I realized how blessed I am….and extremely glad to have found S….and suddenly felt safer for having him and today am gonna get back home and sleep holding him tight…thanking my lucky stars………

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Obnoxious Habitude

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Why people tend to “Name drop”?
I have encountered quite a few people who pursue this practice with great elan. It disgusts me…and I believe that it  chafes any listener. Personally I forever run out on such company…..but I always mull over why they do it?…Ok, I ponder on many issues…this being a very recurrent one among them….
Why do they brag ? Is it to glorify oneself…but this form of self-admiration does more harm than good to the person’s repertoire. Rotomontades drives people away and put them off without delay.Do they even sense it or they go about even without realizing this trivial fact? Are they very inferior and unsure of themselves internally?….Is this why they cling for support..Are they troubled people or are they over confident people? What drives this immoderate fanfaronade? Is it for identity since they feel they are a vacuum if they dont vaunt…or Is it the belief that they will be sought-after socially since they rub shoulders with the who’s who? Whatever the reason be….they never fail to turn my stomach…
      All I feel is you are non-existent as “YOU” if you draw the support of others being all the time…and the tried and tested formula for admiration and reverence is to be oneself and to talk distinctively to just about anybody.When people listen and pay attention to you its because of “What you are ” rather than “Whom do you know”…I for sure am one among those who is all ears for simple and characteristic conversationalists…..pompousness and pretentiousness is a major turn off……I loathe it and I decamp from the scene like a shot….