Tag Archives: angry

Are you man enough…

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Disclaimer: I am neither a bra burning feminist nor a male ilk hater. But I strongly believe in equality and can’t stand gender biasing. And have an extremely soft corner for sensitive men who respect women. S will vouch for this but he thinks am a die hard feminist…well…talk of perspectives...

When you write a blog what happens is everything one hears or overhears(unintentionally) is carefully speculated if it could be possible blogging material..Trust me it just becomes second nature….I don’t do it consciously…

Once such mega blogging incident happened at lunch today. There is this young boy K who is also a part of the team I work for…..over general off-the-cuff gabs today the discussion steered towards K’s opinions on his prospective wife (in short, what he wants from the girl he marries?)……and then what followed blew me out and jolted my belief system…not me but also all the women folk sitting there who were subjected to this trauma…..

I usually carry lunch, which is quite basic everyday food…..andthen the dialogue followed..

K : Oh only one curry, when I get married I will want to have 3 curries,one dal,rasam,dessert, pickle,papads,salad for lunch daily…..

me: Oh you cook?

k: No, my future wife would cook these?

me: So you are seeing somebody who is a great cook too?

k : no, these are the conditions I have for my would be wife….

me : (conditions, godammit… what the hell do you think of yourself? ) well, I said this in the most diplomatic way I could possibly do it…

k : Its so easy to cook, I will buy 4 burner stove and she can cook 3 curries in half hour…its easy

me : Whatever be the number of burners, she will just have 2 hands. How can you say it will take half hour when you can’t cook? First try to cook for yourself….and what if the girl doesn’t like cooking?

k : She has to cook…what is there to like in it?I will do tougher and more meaningful things like paying bills, going to bank etc….

me & A (another colleague of mine) : (we are by now terribly frustrated),huh there is no point talking to him…

And then K went on….His first priority is a beautiful sari clad long haired girl…which is the basic necessity. and then she should never wear salwar kameez…she should be this superwoman who should cook 3 elaborate meals a day, work, and maintain a spic and span house since K is a stickler for neatness…he says he can’t compromise on this….by now me and A (two married woman in the discussion) didn’t know how to react…

That he would be soon preparing a questionnaire of his expectations and give a copy of it to every girl he visits to judge whether she is his wifey material or not ( Pellichupulu in telugu)…..

In sheer helpessness, utter incredulity, extreme choler followed by a state of utmost provocation A and I started laughing….yeah you heard it right….I just didn’t know what to say when I heard all this from him….though what A and I really wanted to do right at that moment is to give him a large piece of our minds, bash him up (I am a diehard advocate of peace, but this was too much for me to take) and tell him that he is vain and no girl would ever want to be associated with someone like him…etc…

And then along with us sat poor M (unmarried girl in the discussion)…..who was totally bewildered and by then shit scared…she kept on saying in the afternoon…..what if I get married to somebody like him? We cajoled her and calmed her down….

We marry for companionship….we marry to wake up everyday with the person whom we deeply love and wish to spend our lives together forever…which stems from love, respect and trust…

We do not marry for great food, cleaner house, beautiful spouse….will this guy ever understand….all he wants is a maid,cook,and >#@#@# (ok, censored)…..WTF…..

Finally with utter desperation when I couldn’t take it no further I blurted out saying, “Dear K, do not marry ever, this way you would do a big big favor on the womenfolk”…..

I may be rude ….so let it be it…I have no regrets in this case whatsoever…..

But that specific question is still ringing in my ears…..WHAT IF? Yes, WHAT IF?

And then I realized how blessed I am….and extremely glad to have found S….and suddenly felt safer for having him and today am gonna get back home and sleep holding him tight…thanking my lucky stars………

Mad and Dismayed

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     I usually am a peaceful and untroubled soul…but a few issues/behaviors will always leave me chafed and aggravated. One of them is any kind or form of disrespect towards women. Today at work I over heard a conversation ( I didn’t intend to) , but the guy (who sits in the same bay as me) was so loud on his telephone that everyone around had to  pay heed. He was talking to his friend A about their friend B’s impending wedding. This friend B, apparently, is engaged and its an arranged love marriage ( what on earth does that mean, Phew) . Mr.B calls my colleague and asks him to “enquire” about his fiancee…and this dopey colleague of mine is discoursing it at the top of his voice to his friend A, about how he is doing a favor for his dear friend…and remarks, after all “Friends should help friends”….and just after he said this I wanted to turn around and spank him and give him a piece of my mind….but more than that I wanted to whack his friend A who is a real ******* …….  WTF does this guy think….he is engaged to this girl and is in love (I’d wish to know what he means by love) with her and wants to enquire her….such an immoral and characterless brute he is….I’d wish the girl dumps him royally…..he badly needs to be shut up and given his attitude, he is not worthy of any girl. Another occurance which re-establishes the fact that education doesn’t build character and values…..