Category Archives: life

Nothing preachy about it !

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“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it, you surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good, love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be… anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

AND I AM TRULY LIVING IT UP !

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This is exactly

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how I define beauty. Can’t be any better…..

The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat, known suffering,
known struggle, known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation,
…a sensitivity and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion,
gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen….
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

came across this today morning and stuck by the truth and simplicity of this statement…..

Sitting at my cosy awesome cubicle which has a huge window with a view ,a happy and bright succulent at my desk staring warmly , pearls of laughter of happy colleagues, a satisfying and excited feeling of this new job and pondering over this quote……brought in this huge desire to save this moment for posterity ….its a memory made ! and such a happy happy one with no particular reason……and isn’t that beautiful ? 🙂 to be blissful and happy with all the routine around yet the moment made spectacular just by this commonality…..
I want to extend this typicality ! Gimme Gimme more !

Turn of the decade!

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A decade passed….and another is on the horizon… I reiterate that I hold no fancy for dates, days and all such…but wanted to jot this down so that the thoughts take form and can be revisited…..in a way I feel this is quite a significant decade since 20’s-30’s bring about a lot of change in every person’s life or I may think so…..and the blog is my journal 🙂

I haven’t changed much as person in my beliefs, values , priorities and such but still there is a giant leap in how I react and how I handle things …….If in 2000 someone told me that I’d end up today in the present state of mind that would have been the biggest joke….yet here I am and loving myself……and whatever highs and lows have hit me am extremely happy how I’ve turned out….yes, I really am super happy about how I have ended up as a person and I can love myself…isn’t that a very beautiful space to be ? And it brings such inherent happiness that I can share the positivity around too….
I am not too full of myself…but like what I made of myself….

Life is what happens when one is busy making plans of it….and life happened quite a bit for me…. I have seen deep lows….and today thank those lows since they shaped me more…..I wouldn’t have ever dreamt that I could challenge each low and emerge out of it with a major high….yes, it did happen….and if you see the confident, so sure of what to do with life and what one wants, in front of you today I dedicate it to those lows….the grit and determination which I never ever imagined I possessed surfaced and surprised me when I hit rock bottom……and the experience I carry today gives me the strength to deal with whatever life throws…am not saying I don’t get hurt or sad…I do of course….but then there is nothing or no one who can put me down so much so that it depresses me to a level where in I blame myself…..

The biggest hurdle I crossed this decade it to stop imagining and viewing and understanding myself from somebody else’s point of view and what a lesson I have learnt……today am a free person with rights, dignity and responsibility.

I live my life…just mine…and how hard can that be. And to do that with no botheration whether people out there in the world conform to my choices or not ….it sets me free….and for me truly defines what freedom means….

Ring in,Ring out

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The time of the year ……when one looks back and reminisces the past 12 months….

I am the types who isn’t very excited about the New Year…I admit it’s a nice time and new beginnings and all….glad about it but am not the one to get caught in the frenzy…I prefer staying home rather than attending new year parties…and If I do attend it’s always a small gathering with people who matter…..just as any other get-togethers which happen round the year…..with no hoopla attached…..

During school days a new year meant lots of cakes….my dad would be gifted quite a few of them and we would gorge on them for days …..And to top it they came in very fancy shapes…butterfly, bird, rabbit etc…..we didn’t engage in the cake cutting tradition for birthdays …..so I associate cakes with New year…and this was the most exciting part…..since eggless cakes in such abundance was not easy to source in Hyderabad then ….and these came from special orders with the yummiest flavors……
Apart from that it was also about the Diaries he gets gifted…..I would hoard them all ….for writing journals, doing maths, scribbling randomly….everything……I am a diary addict….bring them on 🙂

Today morning when dad came visiting he got me the new diary for 2011….and it brought back all these memories …..it felt truly special….here I was managing teams and running a house and considering all grown up and then my dad treats me as the same old little girl ;I feel special , very special….and parents are that way isn’t it ? I love it…and my dad is a man of very few words….yet the tradition of diaries continues till date (he’s never missed providing them each year) 🙂

The year that is passing by has had its hits and misses…with all those that life offered I emerged stronger, confident and elucidative about what I want…what defines me….I guess the most titillating journey is of self-introspection and this year I can proudly say that I have discovered a major part of myself…..in a way I can vouch that I am coming of age…..and I quite like that…..

I wish and hope the learning never ends ,be it any year ….the journey remains as tantalizing as ever…and I pray humbly to the almighty to administer in me the strength to experience whatever the future beholds , be it bouquets or brickbats….to remain elegant and dignified and march ahead with sophistication……

Have a Happy New year folks! See you on the other side

Winters and Me!

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Weather in Hyderabad is at its best now….reminds me of the Hyderabad from childhood…of school days where sweaters were worn, quilts for chilly nights, the morning dense fog, the nip in the air, Biryani at home, made more often than usual ….when relatives visiting from Vizag complained how terribly cold Hyderabad gets and I would defend saying we have all the seasons here and felt extremely proud of my city ( I felt like a celebrity when I could walk in a t-shirt whereas my cousins visiting were all bundled up….Yes, I truly love my city)….there I was missing Copenhagen a week ago and here I am falling in love with my city all over again….well, one can have two loves when it comes to cities , ain’t it ? 🙂

On the usual oh-so-routine days the weather primarily dictates my moods, how much ever I complain of the chill…I love winters…and while most of them around would be agonizing over it one can spot me walking with a smile plastered on…..and craving coffee….how absolutely delish it becomes in winters….the aroma of fresh brew wafting around on a chilly day/night turns me poetic and super happy……

Of course am going to miss a white Christmas….I love snow….the all pervasive knee high Scandinavian snow couldn’t alter my opinion, instead it made me love winters even more…..I know summers in Northern Europe are beautiful and I agree but it’s the snow which warms my heart….there are very few things more resplendent than fresh bright mounds of snow ….and yes I had been through it all, the chill so bad that my skin broke and bled, the runny nose, throat infection, the viral attacks when the snow starts melting, the slippery ice…….and many more…but the love affair continues…..Such is life….and these are the moments I cherish ….and thank god for….the satiating feeling when I step back and watch the world move on and the warmth which surrounds me …these observations of nature which make life beautiful and enriching….the way I feel all humbled and mellow with such magnificent universal forces around…..I Surrender……

By the watercooler

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       I have been missing in action for a while and had written this post as a come back….and since Parul is running a contest related to work spaces thought I could send this to her…dont really know if  it makes sense but hey no harm in trying atleast…..   and this post is a fact…I am the central player in it …

       Past three months professionally have been the worst ever for me…..and as it usually happens it spilled over into all other spheres of life as well….the stress slowly turned me into a person whom I myself couldn’t identify with….I hit rock bottom, became a social recluse, cried at the drop of a hat, my confidence levels eroded drastically, was hit by insomnia big time , and deep nervousness overtook me day in and out….the pressure seeped in quietly into each moment of mine and destroyed the ME in ME…..my soul corroded…..and my life was made miserable…..

Professionally I’m not an easy nut to crack….I am very positive and I love to work… this damage has been due to the toxic work environment I was a part of….the already complicated project totally sucked me and the team politics went up to a level where I feel these guys have to be in national politics not in board rooms…..once again proven for the nth time that people leave managers not organizations …..

I gave enough and decided it’s time to move on….I cannot trade ME for anything in the world lest alone a job…and I want my life to have a breadth of things…..and everything else was tumbling down due to this….

But I did not want it to be easy for those horrible guys….I am not the one to shy away from calling a spade a spade…So I spoke to people who are quite high up the ladder ….wanted to let them know before I move on since there are many folks going through this ordeal day in and out but who are shy, insecure or whatever to voice out…..am anything but that….

The meeting went really fine …they sensed, understood and related with the problem and apologized tremendously for such nastiness ….appreciated for bringing this to their notice and accepted that these are zero tolerance issues and will work their way immediately……also claimed full responsibility for this….

I was a teeny weeny bit happy and it has been a while since I felt anything such……And today morning when I came  walking towards my work station I held my head high and I smiled … I was hopeful and positive….aah…… I so love the feeling…..I like myself for not bowing down and sticking to my beliefs and emerging stronger…and can’t thank my husband enough for being there always….I don’t think I can ever put it in words , how wonderful he has been throughout and I know its not easy…….not one bit easy ….

 

Confused and clueless

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         At a phase professionally where nothing seems to be going the way it should. Was looking forward for an exciting initiative which apparently got dumped the last minute. Counted big on it since everything seemed set and fine.  The profile and project excited me too.

         Project less since a few weeks and trust me not working on anything concrete drains me out.  I have been sulking about it since long….. I need work ….not having anything worthwhile to do brings out the worst in me…. I can really be  a pain ( poor S)…and its been quite a while….am hurt, upset, drained and my confidence levels have hit rock bottom…. till a few hours ago I was all set to step into something splendid but just now got to know that  this one is a miss too…. :(…and this is a shocker…..a major one at that…..

       I am absolutely directionless and I hate it. I take my job bloody seriously and it means a lot to me.  And this unsettlement stumps me…..having no control scares me…

But am a gigantic believer in hardwork and destiny ….. and eagerly waiting for my moment…. wishing it isn’t very far away…..I’ve really had enough…..