Category Archives: employers

This is exactly

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how I define beauty. Can’t be any better…..

The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat, known suffering,
known struggle, known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation,
…a sensitivity and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion,
gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen….
– Elisabeth KĂĽbler-Ross

came across this today morning and stuck by the truth and simplicity of this statement…..

Sitting at my cosy awesome cubicle which has a huge window with a view ,a happy and bright succulent at my desk staring warmly , pearls of laughter of happy colleagues, a satisfying and excited feeling of this new job and pondering over this quote……brought in this huge desire to save this moment for posterity ….its a memory made ! and such a happy happy one with no particular reason……and isn’t that beautiful ? 🙂 to be blissful and happy with all the routine around yet the moment made spectacular just by this commonality…..
I want to extend this typicality ! Gimme Gimme more !

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By the watercooler

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       I have been missing in action for a while and had written this post as a come back….and since Parul is running a contest related to work spaces thought I could send this to her…dont really know if  it makes sense but hey no harm in trying atleast…..   and this post is a fact…I am the central player in it …

       Past three months professionally have been the worst ever for me…..and as it usually happens it spilled over into all other spheres of life as well….the stress slowly turned me into a person whom I myself couldn’t identify with….I hit rock bottom, became a social recluse, cried at the drop of a hat, my confidence levels eroded drastically, was hit by insomnia big time , and deep nervousness overtook me day in and out….the pressure seeped in quietly into each moment of mine and destroyed the ME in ME…..my soul corroded…..and my life was made miserable…..

Professionally I’m not an easy nut to crack….I am very positive and I love to work… this damage has been due to the toxic work environment I was a part of….the already complicated project totally sucked me and the team politics went up to a level where I feel these guys have to be in national politics not in board rooms…..once again proven for the nth time that people leave managers not organizations …..

I gave enough and decided it’s time to move on….I cannot trade ME for anything in the world lest alone a job…and I want my life to have a breadth of things…..and everything else was tumbling down due to this….

But I did not want it to be easy for those horrible guys….I am not the one to shy away from calling a spade a spade…So I spoke to people who are quite high up the ladder ….wanted to let them know before I move on since there are many folks going through this ordeal day in and out but who are shy, insecure or whatever to voice out…..am anything but that….

The meeting went really fine …they sensed, understood and related with the problem and apologized tremendously for such nastiness ….appreciated for bringing this to their notice and accepted that these are zero tolerance issues and will work their way immediately……also claimed full responsibility for this….

I was a teeny weeny bit happy and it has been a while since I felt anything such……And today morning when I came  walking towards my work station I held my head high and I smiled … I was hopeful and positive….aah…… I so love the feeling…..I like myself for not bowing down and sticking to my beliefs and emerging stronger…and can’t thank my husband enough for being there always….I don’t think I can ever put it in words , how wonderful he has been throughout and I know its not easy…….not one bit easy ….

 

Confused and clueless

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         At a phase professionally where nothing seems to be going the way it should. Was looking forward for an exciting initiative which apparently got dumped the last minute. Counted big on it since everything seemed set and fine.  The profile and project excited me too.

         Project less since a few weeks and trust me not working on anything concrete drains me out.  I have been sulking about it since long….. I need work ….not having anything worthwhile to do brings out the worst in me…. I can really be  a pain ( poor S)…and its been quite a while….am hurt, upset, drained and my confidence levels have hit rock bottom…. till a few hours ago I was all set to step into something splendid but just now got to know that  this one is a miss too…. :(…and this is a shocker…..a major one at that…..

       I am absolutely directionless and I hate it. I take my job bloody seriously and it means a lot to me.  And this unsettlement stumps me…..having no control scares me…

But am a gigantic believer in hardwork and destiny ….. and eagerly waiting for my moment…. wishing it isn’t very far away…..I’ve really had enough…..

Are you man enough…

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Disclaimer: I am neither a bra burning feminist nor a male ilk hater. But I strongly believe in equality and can’t stand gender biasing. And have an extremely soft corner for sensitive men who respect women. S will vouch for this but he thinks am a die hard feminist…well…talk of perspectives...

When you write a blog what happens is everything one hears or overhears(unintentionally) is carefully speculated if it could be possible blogging material..Trust me it just becomes second nature….I don’t do it consciously…

Once such mega blogging incident happened at lunch today. There is this young boy K who is also a part of the team I work for…..over general off-the-cuff gabs today the discussion steered towards K’s opinions on his prospective wife (in short, what he wants from the girl he marries?)……and then what followed blew me out and jolted my belief system…not me but also all the women folk sitting there who were subjected to this trauma…..

I usually carry lunch, which is quite basic everyday food…..andthen the dialogue followed..

K : Oh only one curry, when I get married I will want to have 3 curries,one dal,rasam,dessert, pickle,papads,salad for lunch daily…..

me: Oh you cook?

k: No, my future wife would cook these?

me: So you are seeing somebody who is a great cook too?

k : no, these are the conditions I have for my would be wife….

me : (conditions, godammit… what the hell do you think of yourself? ) well, I said this in the most diplomatic way I could possibly do it…

k : Its so easy to cook, I will buy 4 burner stove and she can cook 3 curries in half hour…its easy

me : Whatever be the number of burners, she will just have 2 hands. How can you say it will take half hour when you can’t cook? First try to cook for yourself….and what if the girl doesn’t like cooking?

k : She has to cook…what is there to like in it?I will do tougher and more meaningful things like paying bills, going to bank etc….

me & A (another colleague of mine) : (we are by now terribly frustrated),huh there is no point talking to him…

And then K went on….His first priority is a beautiful sari clad long haired girl…which is the basic necessity. and then she should never wear salwar kameez…she should be this superwoman who should cook 3 elaborate meals a day, work, and maintain a spic and span house since K is a stickler for neatness…he says he can’t compromise on this….by now me and A (two married woman in the discussion) didn’t know how to react…

That he would be soon preparing a questionnaire of his expectations and give a copy of it to every girl he visits to judge whether she is his wifey material or not ( Pellichupulu in telugu)…..

In sheer helpessness, utter incredulity, extreme choler followed by a state of utmost provocation A and I started laughing….yeah you heard it right….I just didn’t know what to say when I heard all this from him….though what A and I really wanted to do right at that moment is to give him a large piece of our minds, bash him up (I am a diehard advocate of peace, but this was too much for me to take) and tell him that he is vain and no girl would ever want to be associated with someone like him…etc…

And then along with us sat poor M (unmarried girl in the discussion)…..who was totally bewildered and by then shit scared…she kept on saying in the afternoon…..what if I get married to somebody like him? We cajoled her and calmed her down….

We marry for companionship….we marry to wake up everyday with the person whom we deeply love and wish to spend our lives together forever…which stems from love, respect and trust…

We do not marry for great food, cleaner house, beautiful spouse….will this guy ever understand….all he wants is a maid,cook,and >#@#@# (ok, censored)…..WTF…..

Finally with utter desperation when I couldn’t take it no further I blurted out saying, “Dear K, do not marry ever, this way you would do a big big favor on the womenfolk”…..

I may be rude ….so let it be it…I have no regrets in this case whatsoever…..

But that specific question is still ringing in my ears…..WHAT IF? Yes, WHAT IF?

And then I realized how blessed I am….and extremely glad to have found S….and suddenly felt safer for having him and today am gonna get back home and sleep holding him tight…thanking my lucky stars………

Why couldn’t I blog?

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Well, I did write a few weeks ago about the hectic schedules at work. Last 2 weeks it hit an all-time high ….and left me terribly frustrated…..
     We had the CEO visiting us with a bunch of clients from the US…and preparations and presentations added up to the daily work which was already abundant….I know its a part of my job and have nothing against it…but what bothers me is the faking attached to it…I truly understand that we need to come up with our best …afterall clients are the ones who approve the much needed moolah…but I absolutely hate it when presentations become so unreal that they end up being gross lies.
     I lead a project here and hence was in a meeting with them for a couple of hours…and it sucked big time…chimerical and dishonest was the theme…..and I loathed being a part of it…though I have attended such meetings in my previous jobs….this was way too cheesy and devious…..and I eagerly waited for it to come to an end. I always enjoyed my work and loved my earlier employers ….but at this organization its been a bumpyride…..I have to wait and watch how long will I tick here…..