Mixed-up ( Healthy you challenge )


        I had been off the radar for an insane amount of time…that doesn’t mean I budged from the goal…
I did all that I could do most of the time….had healthy meals whenever possible….but work has been so overwhelming that we ate out at alarming intervals…though we picked the healthiest option available..but exercise suffered…..late night working and extensive traveling took their toll…though I didn’t put on any weight….I missed the high and the muscle tone exercise gives….the confidence…the well being feeling….
      Its getting back to normalcy now….and we are back to our workouts more regularly….
After the session today we had an impromptu chat with our trainer ( now a friend too) G.
As usual…I went on sulking that I need to lose weight ……….
Here is an excerpt from the conversation.

G : Hey, from the next time pick up heavier weights since you are comfortable with the current set.

ME : yeah, I’d want to…since I have flabby arms…. bat wings ….
      (actually my upperarms are disproportionate with the rest of my body…the fat always rests on
      them….its in the family..even while I was painfully thin this relation continued…frightening
      me from donning sleeveless tops

G : Just work on them…since thats the only area you really need to tone up.

ME : Hey, I need to lose here and here and here ……

G : No, for me all is ok except the arms…

ME: Oh no….I need to lose more…

G : well since am a friend let me honestly tell you something…you look good this way….and if you lose more…I feel you will not look as good as now….thin doesn’t suit everybody….and each one is different….

ME : ?????

G : yeah, not all look pretty when thin, and you are healthy….not fat….

   After this talk….I had been thinking about it….Well, I am currently a few pounds extra… am neither fat nor slim….a little over average….being an Indian I have my curves…and I need to tone up…..the tyres,handles,muffin top dont ever look good….
   Its all together a different point that now-a-days anything other than anorexic is considered overweight in India ( courtesy: magazines,media) and I might be obese from their angle 🙂
     I am healthy and fine now…but  want to lose weight and I fret a lot about it…I want to tone up and wear all the lovely clothes I wish to…I have never admitted this to anybody other than S,my husband…and he bears with all my sulking…..and comforts me all the time…such a sweetheart he is.  
    But this bothers me quite a lot….Is the weight bothering my mind rather than my body ?
Should I be happy that am fit and fine though not slim ? And as everyone around me says…Do I look good this way ? But I dont think so….. I have always told myself….Rupa,you  can only look good when you are slim…..
    Am happy, sad, confused…all at the same time…..its an identity crisis…..and am pouring this out to all you guys since you my friends are familiar with this side ….and I feel extremely comfortable sharing it with you all……



8 responses »

  1. It’s wonderful to see you back here!

    I understand your dilemma. If everyone else is telling you one thing but your belief system is something else, it can be quite mind-boggling. The media has so messed with our concepts of self that it’s tough knowing what is our true belief and what is a mindset we’ve “bought into.” One thing to remember is that you can tone up (and nicely, too!) without losing weight.

    Good luck to you as you struggle with this dilemma. It’s not easy, that’s for sure.

    yeah, its quite a struggle with self..and am sure my belief system is affected too…..I will sure work on toning up now….

  2. I admire you for sharing such intimate thoughts and trusting your readers to harbor them in the spirit they were written. At one time or another, we have all struggled with our identities, inside and out. For most of us, that’s part of the reason we’re on this journey.

    One resource I found particularly helpful in sorting out these dilemmas is Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Solution.

    In it, you’ll peel back the layers of identity crises to discover change your internal dialog; how to choose a support team; how to identify saboteurs; and how to manage stress for ongoing success.

    Hope that helps.

    Will sure read that, thanks rebecca

  3. That’s a tough one! The obvious answer is that you should know whether you are overweight or not, but unfortunately we have become so brainwashed and disconnected from our bodies that a lot of us DON’T know… Mmm, actually this is an interesting subject. How do we know?

    yeah, how?

  4. Hi Rupa!
    I understand what you’re going through! It’s so confusing when you feel you need to lose weight, but people around you say you needn’t.

    But if the people you trust say you look fine, you probably do. Continue to work out and eat sensibly not to lose weight, but to tone up and generally stay healthy. Thats what I’ve decided to do 🙂

    I should learn this too, Madhu….people around me will be freed from my sulking and am sure I will feel better too..Thanks for this..

  5. It’s hard. I just wanna say, not to feel such identity crisis. Do what you like and good for your self and your family. Stop thinking about other’s opinion. Enjoy your life. Do weight losing when you feel you are already overweight. But you need a medical definition on overweight.

    Thanks jookut….yeah I should get the term overweight defined….and then work with myself accordingly

  6. I can certainly understand why you feel confused. Honestly, I think that if you work out and your body is toned, you’ll replace any fat with muscle, still stay curvy but be thin. I say keep eating health since its good for your body, keep working out since its good for your body, its a win win situation!

    100 % true, Diana 🙂

  7. It is so hard to judge with all that crazy media that comes our way. I lost a lot of weight a long time ago and have since gained it all back and then some. I think part of the reason was that I never settled in and accepted that I was fit and healthy, I never transitioned into “maintaining”. If I had it to do over I would have tried maintaining and exercising for a while… you can always lose more later if it really never feels right. I wish I had taken time to enjoy my success.

    Hmm….Its great that you lost it once….you can sure do it again….and enjoy the success…more power 🙂

  8. I totally agree with weelittleme’s point. We put all our efforts to reach a particular number, then we forget to maintain it. Once we reach a particular weight goal, we fall back to the unhealthy food routine and no exercising and the weight crawls back.

    Rupa please don’t keep worrying, when you are consciously making efforts to eat healthy and to work out regularly. Give some credit for yourself. Don’t associate your happiness with a particular number. As your trainer says, concentrate on toning your arms. If a doctor gives a particular medicine, do we doubt that and go and buy medicine in the pharmacy? We trust the doctor right? Similarly he’s a trainer, he knows what he is telling. So do go with his advice and don’t worry.

    You are absoultely right ! consistency is the key word…..lovely advice madhuram …will sure keep this in mind and should get over with my number fixation…….hope you are doing good in your journey too..:)

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